If you haven’t read February 4 yet, you can do so here.
If you stumbled onto this post by accident and haven’t read any of the other stories, head over to this post to find out more about this project.
The water was the kind of blue you only saw in pictures. The kind of blue Kara didn’t believe existed in real life. At least not until the start of this trip. The thing was, as a photographer, she knew all the tricks. She knew how to make the water look bluer than it actually was, how to cleverly edit something to look smaller, bigger, more vibrant. It made it really difficult to believe anything she saw on Instagram.
Lalannah wasn’t with her, nor was Gabi. There were plenty of other women she could have chatted with, but Kara was happy floating around in the water alone. Koh Samui was one of the many places on their itinerary known for its snorkeling and there was no way Kara was missing a chance to try out her GoPro underwater.
There was something comforting about the water, the way it ebbed and flowed, the way it supported her body, it was a feeling she’d never be able to fully explain. Kara always felt most at home when she could slip into a pool or the ocean.
Snorkeling was by far her favorite. She’d tried scuba diving a couple of times but she hated the wetsuits, she loved being able to feel the water against her skin and wetsuits took that away.
There were hundreds of fish doing the same as she was, swimming lazily around the little cove. For her, snorkelling wasn’t about the fish, it was about the connection with the water. That being said, she had a kind of understanding with the fish, at least for her part. They wanted the same thing, to swim around without anyone interrupting them. As much as possible, Kara tried to give that to them.
She lost track of time as she drifted through the water filming the fish, filming the water as the sunlight hit it. Kara barely paid attention to where the camera went, filming whatever it landed on. Usually she would have been focused entirely on the task, but her mind drifted. Even the other snorkelers disappeared from her thoughts.
Her mind drifted to Lalannah and her new friend Ruby, then to Ruby’s ex, Gabi. She forced the three of them out of her mind. Sometimes, she felt like everything she did was related to Lalannah. They didn’t share a channel but people had come to expect them to do videos together. Kara wondered who she was without Lalannah by her side. Was she anyone? Lalannah had always had more followers. She had that feminine beauty Kara could never achieve. Usually it didn’t bother her, she loved her jeans and flannels, her comfy hoodies, cargo pants. She hated wearing dresses, hated crop tops (unless someone else was wearing them), and she couldn’t stand spending hours on hair and make up.
Her thoughts drifted further. She wanted someone to be with. Properly with. Being single had been good fun, but she was lonely. That was why she was so jealous of whatever Lalannah and Ruby were doing, it meant she was even more alone than normal. For years it had been her and Lalannah, both of them single aside from the occasional hookups. Whatever was developing between Lalannah and Ruby was far from casual.
As she drifted around the ocean, she decided it was time. She needed to meet some of the other people on the cruise. Get to know them. Not just Gabi. Not just Lalannah and Ruby. Other people. Her gut twisted, the idea of it made her feel ill. But what if her soulmate was just a couple of introductions away?
You can read February 6 here.
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